Afternoon Twihards and haters,
Today I have three (3) more chapters of Midnight Sun for ya and we’re just gonna go ahead and dive straight in, because this weather is too hot for small talk and introductions.
(Part One)
Chapter Two: Open Book
God, you guys, Edward talks so much. These chapters are so long. I know that’s a weird thing to moan about, but, well, not much moaning has happened yet and I missed it so I’m gonna moan myself.
SO Edward is sitting in the snow. It’s six days since the end of the last chapter when he ran away. We meet Tanya, who I had to google, because I am a fake fan. If you also are a fake fan, Tanya is the leader of one of the other veggie vampire clans – her and her sisters are allegedly the blueprint for the legend of Succubi, because they went through a phase of seducing and murdering men. Now they just seduce them. She also has a crush on our Edward. We basically endure a scene of Tanya trying to convince Edward to sleep with her, and Edward thinking about Bella. They have a little bit of (awful) dialogue, and then he decides to go home.
Then we’re back in the lunch-hall and Edward listens to everyone’s thoughts to figure out if Bella has been talking about him and if he has put their cover at risk by being all aggro and creepy. This goes on for a while with the Cullens having some (alright) dialogue, and Edward is weird about Mike. He then has to decide whether or not to go to Biology and sit next to Bella again. He decides that yes he will, and they have an awkward conversation about her name, why she’s in town, and her mum, whilst doing their Biology work – all the time Edward is finding Bella more and more fascinating. Then when Biology is over, Edward has Spanish with Emmett, and Emmett is all like “why not get it over with and kill her? She’s just one human”, and do you know what, maybe I’m sort of with Emmett on this one. Then Emmett makes Edward freak out by remembering a time he couldn’t help himself and ate a woman – and, dude, why is it always women?? I mean we know why, but why. So Edward goes and sulks in his car and then laughs at Bella because she fucks up reversing out of her parking space.
- At first I really liked Tanya, but that’s cause Edward made her sound very cool and I am very easily influenced, especially by women who “cannonball” themselves at men to shock them and have nearly pink hair. She quickly became super annoying though with lots of pouting and petulance. (I literally wrote in my notes that she was coming across as a petulant child, and then Edward described her as petulant on the next page. This is further proof that we are both gremlins)
- Ugh Edward does the whole “you are too good for me” to Tanya and it’s all just really uncomfortable.
- We finally get some of the fan service I actually want when Edward briefly mentions Emmett and Jasper having a snowball fight. Literally so here for all the Cullen interactions we didn’t get to see cause of Bella’s stupid human ass.
- Edward spends nearly a page talking about how Bella hasn’t spoken about his weird ass behaviour to anyone, and it’s like he’s impressed with her for it? Choosing A Victim 101.
- Edward calls Mike’s thoughts about Bella “distasteful” – um, pot, kettle, much?
- Alice and Emmett throw some snow and ice around at lunch which is also fun, but I like the way they use their creepy cold bodies to hide snow for covert surprise attacks! Sneaky, resourceful vampires.
- Jessica is so fake and gross.
- Stephenie Meyer also does Rosalie so dirty with this book – “Rosalie only worried about how it would affect her life” – is this just me giving too much credit to a badass bitch character? Don’t we know that Rosalie comes across as a bitch because she knows how awful humans are, along with knowing that Bella is putting her beloved family at risk? Don’t we get some depth later in the books? Can someone clear this up for me??
- Can someone also explain their breathing to me? I thought they didn’t have to breathe and just did it to not freak out humans, but Edward takes a deep breath when he’s preparing to sit next to Bella, so is it just that they can hold their breath for a really long time? God I really am a fake fan.
- Edward wants to “Make [Bella] think she’d been imagining things before” so we’re hitting that abuse real hard and early bud.
- It is still fucking weird to me that Edward says “the whole town’s been waiting for you to arrive” as if that’s a sentence normal people say. He acknowledges a couple of “slip-ups” in this chapter, and that isn’t one of them somehow.
- Their Biology teacher is needlessly sassy and he’s my favourite now.
- Honestly, Edward is fucking useless. He says that “there was just no making sense of this girl” when Bella’s talking about her relationship with her mother and it is really fairly straightforward stuff.
- Edward listens to “a CD of violent music” – I am so creased that they keep describing things like this. Also just generally creased at the drama of a 17 year old looking 100 odd year old mf stomping out of school and sulking in his car listening to, what, a mixtape style CD of songs he thinks are violent? I would like to know what is on this CD. Please contact me Stephenie I would like to discuss.
I made this and laughed a lot. Edward definitely has a label maker and a pack of emoji stickers.
Chapter Three: Risk
We begin our chapter with Edward and Carlisle off out on a hunt, and a good excuse to give us some father-son bonding time. They sort of discuss the best course of action for Edward/Bella moving forward, and Edward decides that he’ll spend one more day in school and then leave again. The next day, Alice senses this decision, and tells Edward that his future is consistently changing and there is a crossroad ahead of him. She also gives him a lil sneak peak of the day in the meadow, even though it’s too vague for him to understand. Eventually we then get to the first time Edward saves Bella – you know, the whole car-crushing incident. He saves her, is worried he’s hurt her by saving her, and is more worried about that initially than the fact he basically just gave away he’s supernatural. He keeps an eye on everyone’s thoughts to make sure no one else saw him use his super-vampy-speed-and-strength, but only Bella noticed and thinks something’s up. Edward is all ‘hun u banged ur head wot r u on about lol’, but he gets her to the hospital, makes sure she’s ok, and then sets about the gaslighting. He does seem to be a little remorseful over this, but, yaknow, not enough. He also discovers that he can’t hear Charlie Swan’s thoughts properly – they’re sort of there but very vague. Oh, and he gets mad at Tyler for fancying her because he’s a very rational man. Anyway, he and Bella have a little chat, Edward goes into full gaslighting mode, playing a villain etc etc, and then he memorises her face before leaving again.
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- Ugh, ok, again, the writing isn’t as terrible as I thought, but so much of it is just lists. “I was this. I thought that. She did this. He did that.” It’s draining. Are you a blood-sucking vampire or an energy vampire, Edward?
What if we all agreed to picture Edward as Colin Robinson moving forward? - Carlisle is the best dad and I love him forever. He gives some super dad-ly advice and is all like “take my car. The tank is full”
- Carlisle also refers to Bella as “the Swan child”, so like, he is fully aware that she is a child and that he and Edward are not,
- Carlisle and Edward go into “a hunting crouch” which reminds me of this one dumb line in a Bond book about a “shooting stance”, and, like, just describe?
- Edward gets jealous imagining Bella as a bride, which I think is meant to be cute, but is kind of creepy.
- Alice has a tiny tongue apparently??
- Edward goes on for a while about how he’s not like other vampires.
this isn’t really a relevant gif, but I found it and loved it so enjoy - He has a list of things he knows about Bella, to which he is able to add “She was a serious person, a responsible person” – and why does that sound like Trump talking about himself?
- He has fun watching Bella check the chains on her tyres, what is wrong with this boy??
- “a word I’d never said before in the presence of a lady” um excuse me I just vomited.
- Edward spends a lot of this chapter bouncing between grumpy and laughing at weird things – “a chuckle slid through my teeth before I could remember that the situation was not funny” – and there’s the gremlin I know and love.
me n eddie being bffs if he wasn’t an abusive pos - Awh let’s take a second to enjoy this video I made of the hospital scene last time I watched it:
- Ugh, ok, again, the writing isn’t as terrible as I thought, but so much of it is just lists. “I was this. I thought that. She did this. He did that.” It’s draining. Are you a blood-sucking vampire or an energy vampire, Edward?
- Ok so maybe Edward’s finally catching on to Bella pretending to be in her own VH1 show. He talks about how he’s going to play the villain, and how it’s all his fair well scene, and ok, maybe they really are perfect for each other, or maybe they should just get a classic reality show.
- “My voice grew more mocking. “Nobody will believe that, you know.”” Creepy creeperton, bella, run.
- Ugh the end of this chapter is so so so over the top and dramatic. I’d missed the nonsense and the angst and the OTT-ness. Thank you Edward for being just as weird as your loml.
Chapter Four: Visions
Edward goes back to school as it is the “normal” thing to do. He knows that the right thing to do by his family would be to discredit Bella to anyone who asks by saying she bumped her head hard. This doesn’t feel right to him, though, so he just grumbles about. I guess, then, his gaslighting of her isn’t so bad if he’s not discrediting her to everyone else? Is that how we’re meant to feel? He and Emmett then have a very subtle argument, but Emmett is Emmett and is very forgiving of Edward for possibly exposing them. I kind of feel like Emmett is the embodiment of YOLO. Emmett does let Edward know that Jasper is set on murdering Bella in order to protect the family, and Edward realises that he would fight his family in order to protect the girl. He tries to figure out which members of the family may take his side, and weighs up the fight. We don’t have to wait long to figure that out with him though, as they all get home and have a discussion around a fancy dinner table. They choose their seats according to their opinions – so we basically have Edward, Carlisle, Esme, and Alice vs Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper. What follows is an almost interesting discussion regarding their next steps, and the morality of them. Protecting family, vs that family’s values etc. Basically they have a Philosophy Seminar right there in their house (maybe I’m projecting). Edward is set on leaving, but they point out that if he disappears, Bella seems more likely to talk. Rosalie suggests they kill her and make it look like her head injury was more severe than it was. Carlisle is all “murdering an innocent child means we’d risk losing who we are” cause he’s very deep and is all about them Virtue Ethics. Eventually Edward realises Rosalie will go along with Carlisle whether he agrees or not. Jasper is the only one unmoved. His whole position is that Bella ought to have died that day, and that killing her was only setting that right. He does not want Alice to live in danger, and neither do I, but he does need to calm down a bit tbh. Alice interrupts to ask Jasper not to kill Bella “as a favour” as she has now had a vision that they are going to be BFFs and she’ll be “very put out” if he doesn’t “leave her be”. Then Alice tries to hide her visions from Edward but he can see them. Right there in front of everyone, Alice and Edward realise that Edward and Bella are going to fall in love if he’s strong enough to resist killing her. Edward has a full-blown tantrum and storms out, running away into the forest in the rain because he is also a dramatic bb. He reveals to the reader that he saw two outcomes in Alice’s vision – one was Bella as a vampire, which he couldn’t stand, and the other was him murdering and eating Bella, which he couldn’t stand more. He resolves that there has to be another choice.
To be honest I don’t have much to snark about in this chapter, however:
- Edward keeps talking about ‘ditching’ classes, and how he is “yearning to ditch”. I just don’t feel like he’d use that word. Or is this just a clever way to show how he picks up terminology from other people’s thoughts?
- He uses ellipses once yay!
- Edward literally driving all his siblings home like
- Rosalie calls Edward the following “Idiot! Lunatic! Moron! Jackass! Selfish, irresponsible fool!” and, yep.
- When Jasper is being all “I won’t let you put my Alice at risk!!!” blablabla, Alice’s literal response is: “I know you love me. Thanks.”
- Emmett’s reaction to Edward being about to fall in love with a human is “tough break” lol I love him.
- Edward having a tantrum and running into the forest in the rain was everything this book had been missing so far, and actually makes me believe in their love a little bit, because doesn’t she do the exact same thing?
- Me getting that good hit of melodrama
And now for my new favourite part, a list of all the ways Edward referred to Bella/things he called Bella in these last few chapters:
- “just an unremarkable human face”
- “she looked so delicate with her translucent skin”
- “her ordinary, unthreatening appearance”
- “Actually sort of pretty for a human”
- “her face was … unexpected”
- “intelligent for a human”
- “the most vulnerable creature I’d ever seen”
My favourite is probably “her face was … unexpected.” and not just for the ellipses.
And that’s all the drama we have time for today, folks! See you next week!
The Thoughtful Ferret 
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